Sentiments of a Broken Heart: How Does One Let Go and Move On?

 

          How does letting go work? How do you tell the person you love that "I'll move aside. When the concept alone causes a terror so great that it eliminates everything that gives life purpose, I'm quitting. How do you let go of a sentiment that honors a life you both shared?

        I started to cry as a result. Every tear I wept was an expression of my ultimate self-sacrifice and the last act of love. Every day that I am awake is a never-ending loop of despair and pain. I am plagued by visions of what was and what might have been, even in the quiet of the night. How can you free my bruised soul from the clamor of rage and love? I could feel every smash and crash I was subjected to. But I still go through all of these, if only to make a point that I won't let our brief relationship evolve into anything less than noble, pure, and sustaining. I bet my life when I said yes to you, despite the doubts, despite the defects, and against the grain of caution.

        I suddenly find myself back alone. Desolation has replaced loneliness and pain has replaced both. I started to ask questions as my heart and mind battled it out. Why me when my only error was falling in love with you. Honestly, did you love me? Who am I, anyway? You could have the solutions, but I don't think they can make my heart at ease. to offer a resolution that will alleviate all this suffering. Bring my capacity for love back. Go on with your life.

         I'm therefore alone myself on a lonely road once more. I'll be going alone. Once again... Once more. I'll also evaluate my memories when I take the first steps. Sifting through the difficulties of life with care. I'm crying as I think back on the most upsetting incidents and seek solace in pleasant recollections. But you will constantly linger in all of these. New chapters and new faces will appear. However, you will always remain with me. I've made the decision to never forget. Since I was never meant to be a part of you, I will continue to adore you from a distance.

            The very existential question is how can I mend this pain from a distance? Would it still be a never-ending cycle of resignation? Does desolation help? Does it make my heart at ease? Or would it be a forever misery like a continuous fall in a bottomless pit? If distance and time are the only resorts, would I continuously be traveling?

         However, the one thing I can say with certainty is that memories are not just a record of who we are as individuals, but also of the lives we have touched by our interactions with others. Whatever the experiences we shared with them, whether positive or negative in our own estimation, they were once a part of our temporary life that colored it, made us a better person, and occasionally made our soul smile.

         So, I made it clear that it’s okay to cry but after the sobbing be sure to fix yourself and be ready to face the world again. Learn to let go of the things and the people who are not meant to stay. And know that God has plan for you.