The Darkness Within

    This story is about the struggle between my spiritual life and intellectual aspect. It depicts how earthly temptations can affect the entirety of a person without spiritual guidance.

     I was ensnared by the greatness and subtleness of the hidden treasure of the earth which was recognized by known philosophers and elders. I was restless and eager to possess the power it might give to me. My mind was tangled in sightless anticipation thinking that the knowledge I had read would alleviate and transform my consciousness and physicality into something affluent once I acquire uncanny abilities.

     This knowledge was passed down through the ages each century unto each. But only a few have unveiled the real essence of this secret knowledge and they shrouded it underneath their writings. The way is dangerous and destructive to ignorance, and the only way to keep it safe is to conceal it from unwanted seekers.

     I was puzzled! But my curiosity grew stronger and that fuels me to strive even more. After a long rebuttal with myself, I began to recite and called the aid of celestial bodies and followed what was written in the manuscripts that promised mystical skills that a multitude of wise men have been practicing since the olden days. I gathered numerous grand Grimoires, cast bizarre rituals, and cleansed myself from earthly cravings to prove that I was a worthy vessel for it was mentioned that the only well-intentioned one could unlock its enigmatic mysteries.

     In my wilderness in search of knowledge, I have encountered countless disparage and anxieties for it was inscribed that the greatest adversary of the pursuer is his shadow. In my difficult times, the only light is the Omnipotent One with my full desire and intention. I discarded all earthly manifestations and desires and spent my entire time studying the hidden secrets of nature, and I was astonished in surprise.

The secrets have been revealed right before my eyes. My body became a receptacle of its overflowing power, and gradually it became a part of me. The gods and goddesses heeded my plea and even the entities have lent me their mysterious specialty and imparted strange abilities.

The powers have bred supernatural things, and it grew even stronger. I even felt it inside my body running through my veins. I was totally blinded and overlooked the fact that it would control me unpredictably. It never came to my mind that it would capture my whole sanity. Though it granted me the ability to affect nature, it turned out differently. I was naïve and confidently shaded by its potency.

It drove and manipulated my entire consciousness to the extent that I went blank, and even my conviction and prejudice failed but were jailed in a total belligerent of irrationalities. My senses deactivated as if I was in a trance controlled by the dark force inside me.

I tried to fight the new influences that resided in my body to bring back all my consciousness to return to the corporeal world, but my natural strength has no match. I have received what I have wished for, but it only tore my worldly wits apart, created pain, and jailed me in the dungeon of my own faculties.

This uncharted realm caused so much agony in my physicality and mentality. It burdened and restrained me. Without fear, I decided to free myself from this cavernous darkness, and the only key is to collect my own strengths. So, with full power and intent, I started to gather all my belongings and materials which I used when I was in my preparatory, but this time it was different.

It was difficult at first but the thought of losing myself because of wickedness made me resist the forces within me. I began to work on a very delicate ritual which was the only way to bind the darkness in me. I had to do it even if it cost all the knowledge I acquired through my studies.

He who wishes to practice the art of darkness let him love the spirits that reign in the abyss, in the air, and in the shadows, and you shall be forever bound. I did! But for the sake of my salvation and my soul, I was able to revert the pact I made. I didn’t want to spend my very last hour in the fiery pit of everlasting torture.

This very time, though I was able to bind the monster, I still feel the enormous power within me trying to escape but unable to do so. I locked it in the very deep of my subconscious using the art of ceremonial magic carved with the names of angels, sigils, and ancient seals that forbid any dark forces to come out from its vessels.

 Fools rush in where wise men dare not tread.