A Beautiful Life

 

“It is the beauty of life that captures me most.

But my soul will recollect the bounty that I once had.

I ‘m still alive, I’m in the place where love and 

freedom exist."

Life is beautiful in every way. I see the beautiful faces of those contented people. I also see the faces of those brokenhearted. Despite of the odds, they continuously struggle to live. 

In this transient life, we laugh, we fall, we cry, we learn, and we hope. So, strive to be good, fairly take and fairly give.

Yes, we need to deal with problems at some point, something we cannot possibly avoid because it is destined to happen just like my situation. 

I don't have much time left. My illness is slowly devouring me. I am now on the verge of this borrowed time. I am still thinking what I can do with my remaining days. My time is near!

My heart aches because of the thought that one of these days I will be taking my last breath. It hurts to know that I will be gone, and that means I will not be able to witness my cousins' grow. I will not be able to see their naughtiness. 

I will not be able to see how my friends hang out together happily, and I will not hear their boisterous laughs. I will not be able to hear how irritated my father was for being rascal, and how my mother repeatedly convinced me to go home. 

I will not be able to feel how my boyfriend makes me fall and how he makes me stunned. I will not be able to join him to have a cup of coffee while talking and laughing together. These really break my heart.

I will miss how I helplessly cry on my sleepless nights because of jealousy and irritation with boyfriend. I will miss your face when you are angry and your smile when you are happy. I will miss how you drive so fast that I even scream and catch my breath because of nervousness, and how I exerted so much effort but still failed to capture your heart. But please hug me one last time; I will be in the place without you.

I'll miss my daily office routine, how I puffed a cigarette and sipped a cup of coffee, how I worked until morning and that shivers my entire body due to stress and sleepiness. I will miss how we laughed  with my colleagues and the reprimands when I did wrong.

I will miss the bond, and you will always be in my heart. I will miss how I drank unrestrainedly when hurt and how I woke up so late that even my aunt got irritated when I ignored her for waking me up. 

I will miss how my friends scolded me for being so stupid. I will miss everything because I can no longer have this in my other life. I wish there were people like you too in heaven. And I wish there were cigarettes and liquor there too.

You take all my weariness and fears. I wish I could stay a little longer, but there’s nothing I can do. I have no power over my fate, and I cannot stop what is bound to happen. But I know that in my deepest recollections, I once had a very unique happiness because of you. I know these beautiful things will help me traverse the road to my journey peacefully with the Almighty. Your memories will linger. Though I will not be there to see what’s going to happen next, I will watch you from afar. I thank you for completing my uncharted life. I will treasure you, and I know I will not leave empty-hearted.

To all my beloved ones, "I have to let things go and proceed to where my fate is. I just have to believe that you are thinking of me too. But when the time is on our side, God will lead you back to me. I know we will say hello again because I know it’s not goodbye. Know that when you laugh, I will laugh too. If you get hurt and cry, I will sit beside you and cry too. Though you can no longer see me, know that I am right beside you. Know that I’m with you in your success and will be happy when you are happy.

By the time I am crossing over to my rightful place, please don’t forget me. I don’t want to see people weeping and hurting because of me, but instead put me there in your heart where I can stay forever. And remember that I am the only person who owns a very hilarious laugh, is hard-headed and has a very problematic attitude when it comes to love.

I know that I will be safe in the arms of God. You should be happy for me. This is the life I am destined to live. He gave me this gift, so He is the only one who can decide when he is going to take it. Don’t worry when I am already with him. I will tell him how you have given me a beautiful hour and you are the reason why I lived my life in fulfilment.

I hoped to see my Grand-Pere and Grand-Mere. I hope they would wait and accompany me to where I should be. I want to say sorry. I wasn’t there on their death bed because I was too busy doing other things.

         

I hope to see my long-lost boyfriend, Angel. We will be together again as we have promised, and so perhaps we could visit and hang out together under the same old tree where I used to play our favorite music over and over again, while you were listening and gazing at me so attentively as if it was new to you. I missed your brown eyes and your smile.

If I were to choose how I was going to spend my very last hour, I would choose to sit under the tree and watch the view of the horizon in the morning while pampering the cold breeze on my skin because it reminds me that life is so beautiful.

Farewell is not usually sad; sometimes it is the only way to lessen the burden. This is the cycle of life, and we all need to go through this at the right time we are not certain of.

To God be the glory.